I Wish I Was Rich Because....

....I want one of these*.











Here's a baby one.

*English Bulldog

Some things I just wrote up on scrap paper

I was buying shoes, and the salesman in the budget shoe store wasn't helpful, and I felt really lousy because I wasn't feeling so hot about making yet another purchase. Not because of the money, but more because I always get depressed at the mall.

So, I found some shoes that I assumed would look good with [whatever], and I paid for them with a check. And everyone was annoyed because only worthless dullards pay with checks anymore. "Where's your check card, sad sack?" "Where's your Y2K?" "Where's your astronaut food in little vacuum-sealed plastic wrappers?"

Shut up, people who don't pay with checks anymore. You have herpes.

I left Payless with a serious chip on my shoulder and a glare for any sucker who looked my way.

**************************************

Explaining/Over-Explaining. Not wanting to be misunderstood. I do it. She does it. Shes inevitable, and so are we. I say "we" because I involved you, and you made it clear that - though you very much want to be involved - I needn't be so thorough in my dictation. Especially since 6:30 comes so early for a gal like me. And the "bed" was and is what we make of it.

And I almost cried for fear of being part of a mistake, and I was so delusional and refused for a moment or two to see that I was only DOING IT AGAIN.

But you petted me, and said "don't sweat the small stuff." And I was very much in need of that particular cliché at the time, and you knew it.

Brother

I guess I would have been cooler if I would have bought you beer that night. The night of the concert. Not Green Day. I'm talking about that one with the local bands at Curly's.

Anyway, you used my cell phone on the way home to call some friends and see if/where you could get some beer. It was already at least 11 pm.

We ate at Denny's and sat in our booth talking about starting a band together. Me: guitar. You: drums (right?). We would fill the rest of the band members in later.

A few weeks after our Denny's band discussion, I stuck my head in your bedroom door and asked you when we were gonna get our band going. And you said, "I guess when we learn how to play some instruments and write some songs."

I laughed because you knew I was never really a guitar player or a drummer in spite of the fact that I owned and practiced on those instruments all the time.

You surprised me and mom a couple months later when you said, "I think I'll go to college - maybe RSU at first - and then become a history teacher." Mom and I talked about you in the yard that day after you said all that about school. It was a Saturday. I was over there doing my laundry. You had just gotten your tongue pierced the night before.

Anyway, I told you "Bye. Love you. Why don't you come see me anymore?" I was lugging my laundry and in a hurry. I don't remember why.

You said, "I don't really run around that much now that I have a job." And then maybe you said, "Bye. Love you too."

Essentially

Do you know what song I always hated, I mean really hated, until I heard it while driving down the road the other day and just happened to be in a peculiar enough mood that it struck me as "kind of cool"? Do you? Do you know what song that is?

It's "Dream On" by Aerosmith.

Late night web-surfing. Dry, red eyes. Wearing a watch for more than a few hours at a time kills my wrist. I have a zest for living, but I can't find it in this place. This building. Shelter. It's back home someplace where I left my lovely, lying in wait. He on night shift. I on day. I miss the smolder eyes already. The hands so breakable and capable of dissolving worries and fears. Hands that reach out to me in gentle want.

Crowbar ourselves from sheets and loveseats.

The residue of our binding never wears off.

Incredible Pizza

We went to "Incredible Pizza" a couple weeks ago for my nephew Janson's birthday. Clockwise from top left: Heather, Nephew Janson, Sevin, Nephew PeeWee and Hannah. Although the pizza really wasn't all that "incredible," we had a good day. This was the first time I had the chance to meet these new sweet nephews.

Taken after we got the goof shot out of the way.
You're looking at some fine kids.

Hannah's victory smile after a good game of bumper bowling.

Sevin appears to be eating the carousel pole. (I really hope his mouth wasn't touching that thing.)

Sevin, Hannah and PeeWee in a simulated roller coaster ride. At one point, they all had their hands in the air.

It looks elementary enough, but it took Hannah and me about five minutes to figure out how to work this train after putting our money in it.

Ahh, the old claw-grabber game. Sevin -- like many 4-year-olds -- was a bit too trigger happy for this.

Here's little PeeWee (whose real name is Gannon) in a hot rod with a paint job that was obviously inspired by the TV show "Saved By the Bell."

Dry Gulch

These photos were taken at Dry Gulch USA on August 27th. AJ's company picnic was held there. This is Hannah and Sevin taking a break from their game of PIG at the indoor basketball courts.

Sevin in the jumping balloon.

Here's Hannah's ascent on the rock-climbing wall.

And she reaches the top.

This is a Dry Gulch worker helping Sevin climb the rock wall. This guy actually took him all the way to the top. It was quite funny because by the time they got up there Sevin was pretty much just hanging onto the rope while the guy dragged him. So, in a sense, Sevin dangled his way to the top.

We had a fun time at Dry Gulch. It sure beat my company's idea of a fun family picnic which involves a bunch of guys in a golf and/or fishing tournament and a bunch of wives who do not know one another standing around picnic tables bored out of their minds.

Blue Hole

These pictures were taken at Blue Hole Creek in early August. This is Heather in a tube.

This is Hannah (a.k.a. Exquisite Banana) dipping her toes reluctantly.

This is Sevin (a.k.a. Wunderkind the Magnificent) looking very dapper and showing off his tiny man boobs.

Here's Heather again. She's obviously upset because her attempts at "floating on land" are not working.

My husband loves me and my giant head which is clearly twice the size of his own.

Is This Your Family?

I stumbled upon this picture on the internet somewhere about a year ago.
I don't know these people, but that doesn't stop me from really, really loving them.
(You should click on this photo and enlarge it to appreciate its full effect.)

Almost Nothing

Except for extreme goodness, nothing much is going on with me right now. Everyone knows that unhappy writers are the best. Perhaps that's why I'm drawing blanks lately.

Anyway, Internet, I'll get back with you when I have something interesting to say. Maybe I'll tell of the three-day extravaganza that was AJ's birthday. Or maybe I'll tell about riding sweaty go-carts with my step-son. Or maybe I'll tell about finally getting around to reading One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (still haven't seen the movie). Heck, maybe I'll even talk about nearly breaking my precious pinky toe while doing a crazy victory dance after a recent game of darts.

For now, I'll share with you a note I recently posted in the men's restroom of the office where I work. Keep in mind that the "women's restroom" of my office is essentially "Jennifer's restroom," as I am the only "woman" in the quality control office. The note goes something like this:

WHEN THE MEN'S RESTROOM RUNS OUT OF TOILET PAPER,

PLEASE GET MORE FROM THE STORAGE CABINET IN THE MAIN

OFFICE. PLEASE DO NOT STEAL TOILET PAPER FROM THE

WOMEN'S RESTROOM IN QC.

THANK YOU.