That Old Sober Feeling

So, I guess a few people are reading this now, and I should be ashamed of my lackadaisical blog practices. (For some reason it was very difficult for me not to write "laxative blog practices" there).

I have a few news items, I suppose.

Christmastime at our house was pretty fun this year. Santa had some nice surprises for the kids. Lots and lots of prezents. A little wrapping trouble though. Santa just couldn't quite figure out how to wrap the hula hoop. So, he said to hell with it and tied a big red bow on it and stuck it front and center of the Christmas tree. Lazy fat man.

But seriously, it was fun shoving all those presents under the tree after the kids were asleep. It's probably the closest I came this year to catching any Christmas spirit. It was an unusual spirit though because the whole time we were setting up the gifts and filling the stockings, Dukes of Hazzard (the movie) was playing in the background. So, our holiday tradition was carried out this year in the ambience of banjo music and the laughable acting skills of Jessica Simpson and the grody rasp of Johnny Knoxville.

AJ and I booked our mutual Christmas present trip back to Vegas this summer. I really wanted to wrap up the airline confirmation receipt in a box that said "To: Ourselves. From: Ourselves." But I never got around to it.

We went fishing at an indoor dock the other night. Actually, I have no license. So, I just asked a bunch of questions and read a book. No fish were caught, but it was a cool, peaceful evening sittin' on the dock of the lake.

Got any New Year's plans? I sure do. We're getting a couple of adjoining hotel rooms with about 4-6 other friends. Let the quarters and card games begin! I'm not sayin' we're gonna get sauced or anything, but...... yeah, okay, we're gonna get sauced. I've been trying to get rid of this [doctor says it's not quite a] sinus infection all week so I can get my drink on in a satisfying way. Allegra D, I'm counting on you.

We'll be taking our (hopefully mild) hangovers to a post-Christmas gathering with AJ's family on New Year's Day after we pick up the kiddies from my mom's house. We asked my parents to baby-sit, like, two months in advance for this weekend. What can I say? I'm a Planner. My parents are having a cool little party for all their grandkids, including my brother's three children. Mom and Dad are looking forward to this event with a childlike glee. Theirs is the House of Fun, where kids run free and wild with a pop every hour and snacks in between. My mom's a third grade teacher. So, she has crafty/schooly stuff for them to do if they wish.

Changing subjects...... Last night while doing laundry, I was fumbling around on the shelf above the washer and dryer, and I found an old sign I made a while back. It had block letters that read "ASS GOES HERE" with an arrow pointing down. I made it one night about a year ago with some sticker letters that were leftover from changing the name and address on our mailbox. I taped the sign to the back of the toilet and left it there a couple days.

Welp, Internet, I haven't anything else to type today. Have a happy and safe New Year and try to keep it in your pants for once.

Succotash: When Beans & Corn Collide

Be jealous, Internet, because Santa Claus is coming to my house a whole week before actual Christmas this weekend.

Santa's generosity is costing us about $2500 this year, including what we've paid to go in half on Heather's Christmas/Birthday car. The '96 Probe, by the way, is indeed a very sweet ride. It has about half the miles of my '00 Cavalier and is running great. The three of us (AJ, Heather and I) have been driving it around a bit. Quite sporty and black.

We found some great little kid toys at, predictably, Toys R Us. And we picked up a couple things at, predictably, Wal-Mart. And we also found a nice selection of things at, suprisingly, Dollar General. I know, it's a cheapskate haven, but they really do have some really neat toys for kids- let's say- below the age of 8.

After that age it's all "I Heart Video Games and Other Expensive Electronic Goods." That's why my dear teenaged cousins and similarly aged nieces and nephews are prone to receiving the GIFT CARD. I did find a couple of wrap-able presents for the teens though. I shall appear to be genuinely relieved as they appear to be genuinely excited about these selections. "Hey," I'll be thinking, "your mom said it was a good idea, dude. So, you enjoy that windbreaker."

I only have two easy gifts left to pick up, and then I'm finished. No more!

I've once again committed myself to making a "casserole" for the holiday meal. Why do I do this to myself? Being the anti-professional that I am, I have no idea why I merrily agreed to cook a dish that will require quite a lot more than my iffy, from-a-box skills. One of my aunts brought me a buttload of cookbooks the other day, and I intend to consult them. But still... What the hell was I thinking? Recipes that say "sprinkle" or "add a pinch" really frighten me. What if my pinch is larger than the author's? When you say "sprinkle," are we talking "a few shakes of Tinkerbell's wand," or are we talking "mama likes the Parmesan cheese to coat the pizza slice?" Those cookbooks were built to intimidate.

Well, I have a basketball jersey and shorts to stick into the dryer for tomorrow night's showdown with the Jay Bulldogs (Heather's team beat them last year). So, I should hop to it. (Braggadocios* Note: Did I mention Heather is now a starter for her team, and that she's pretty damn good ball player?) So, I will see you on the flipside, Internet. Enjoy the ether.


*Extremely sentimental word for me

Fiesta del Hannah

bdayall, originally uploaded by Jenn-Logan.

For seven wonderful years, this little red-headed girl has been making the world a better place (the one in front left). Seen here with assorted cousins (& little brother), she had a splendid day of cake, ice cream, presents and laughter.

Endurance Cake

bdaycake, originally uploaded by Jenn-Logan.

This poor cake almost didn't make it to the party. It was dropped once, and I nearly left it on the roof of the car when pulling out of the driveway.

Hot Item

doodlebear, originally uploaded by Jenn-Logan.

The famous Doodle Bear Glow Magic. You write all over it (one of the colors even glows in the dark) and then you wash it in a pillow case in the washing machine. It magically comes out completely clean. Then you get back to doodlin' again. She also got some nice new scrunchies, seen here.

BF

heathersteven, originally uploaded by Jenn-Logan.

Heather & her boyfriend Steven. He is nice and doesn't seem to mind Heather's unique family.

Generic Cascading Staircase Shot

staircase, originally uploaded by Jenn-Logan.

From ze top: Hannah, Peyton, Peewee, Sevin & Sydney. (Where's Janson?)

Don't Need No Education

sevin, originally uploaded by Jenn-Logan.

This is about as straight-faced as Sevin gets during photo ops.

A Moment of Truce

hannahsyd, originally uploaded by Jenn-Logan.

Hannah & my niece Sydney are shown here all friendly-like. These two dueling girlie girls ended up arguing pretty much all through the party and after when Sydney spent the night. Of course, they would hug and make up about 30 minutes later each time. It's a shame they can't get along on a constant basis because they really are too sweet for cat-fighting.

Fry Girl

frygirl, originally uploaded by Jenn-Logan.

One of the most popular b-day presents was this little toy McDonald's set-up. There was a cash register, drive-thru headset, fake food, and a McDonald's visor (shown here). Man, those kids just love corporate America!

Say It With Me.

sleeping, originally uploaded by Jenn-Logan.

"Awwwww........"

The Brothers Logan

jansgan, originally uploaded by Jenn-Logan.

Nephews Janson & Peewee. One cannot find sweeter or funnier kids.

Extra Cheese

ajjen, originally uploaded by Jenn-Logan.

Hanging in the Kitchen on a fun Saturday Night.

Heather & Friends

thugz, originally uploaded by Jenn-Logan.

These are some of the neighborhood kids with Heather. Left to Right, we have Jess, Jake and Marc (reclining). They are an ominous 4-wheeler gang, known as the Hammonds Heights Posse.

Wochenende

look, originally uploaded by Jenn-Logan.

A very aggressive childhood game broke out in the living room yesterday. Maybe you've played this: You make a circle by touching your forefinger to thumb and then extend the other three fingers. See above picture (yes, I scanned my hand). You try to get other people to look at the sign you're making because, if they do, you get to hit them. The only official (?) rule I know for this game is that you cannot make the hand gesture anywhere above the shoulders of the person you're trying to trick into looking at it. I have no idea what the name of the game is.

It started with AJ getting me to look at it on the couch. Things went crazy from there. It was much more fun than I can describe here.

Here are some sample schemes used to get someone to look: "Did you want a bite of this?" "What's all over your pants? (using the gesture to point)" "I took this twenty out of your wallet." "Drinks on the house, ladies (this was a two-hander)" "Here, you can have the remote."

My father-in-law and his wife came for a visit late in the afternoon when the game was in full-swing. Those two were total suckers! You didn't even have to be coy or creative about getting them to look. Just stick your hand out in front of them, and they can't help themselves.

Saturday we had a 7th birthday party for Hannah. We started at the park because the first part of the day was really nice, but we ended up at my aunt's house because a bone-chilling nor'easter came blowing through as we were setting everything up. Hannah & Co. had a fun time anyway, and she went home with some new toys, including one very coveted Doodle Bear Magic Glow.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith is pretty good. Angelina Jolie is kind of cool for once. It took me a while to get over that excruciating scene in Gone in 60 Seconds where Angelina does that awkward/embarrassing little dance around the car while listening to "Low Rider" in an effort to get herself "pumped" for the next act of grand theft auto. I also didn't care for her because I wish celebrities would keep their political agendas locked away with their porn stashes at the backs of closets because I find them achingly dull . Angelina's activism is really boring to me, but she was rather decent in this film. I thought.

Tomorrow is the two year anniversary of the day I met my beloved AJ. What a fateful and drunken evening that was. After being introduced by my aunt & uncle (AJ's friends) at a Christmas party hosted at their home, we proceeded to feast on tequila, share many a laugh, and have a long, serious talk (that I regrettably do not remember). Later that evening, as you presuppose, I threw up buckets of nasty holiday excess. AJ held my hair back and helped get me to bed. When I awoke the next morning, my shining boy was sleeping downstairs on the couch, unaffected by my tragic state the previous night. We've been virtually inseparable ever since.

That about wraps it up. Have a safe December 5th, Internet.