What Gives

Dear Green Day,

Be honest. Do you hate Tulsa? And, if so.... why? We were a loud, appreciative and sold-out crowd for you back when you performed at our Brady Theater in 2000. This was in spite of the fact that your just-released album Warning: was probably your weakest record so far.

The reason I fear you hate us so much, Green Day, is that you have since refused to return to us. The closest you seem to want to come to us is Oklahoma City. And this time around, you’re making things worse by performing on a night after which most of us will have to get up early and go to work the next morning.

Do you see my point, Green Day? What do you have against us? Do we smell? Is it our ominous praying hands? Our 3.2 beer? Are you intimidated by our enormous Tulsa Driller? That’s it, isn’t it, Green Day? You are obviously intimidated by our ever-so-slightly-homosexual giant Tulsa Driller, aren’t you?

Your homophobia is out of control, Green Day. It shows you have suppressed insecurities and self-doubts. I feel sorry for you and hope you can overcome your senseless worries.

In the meantime, I’ll be debating whether you’re worth a two-and-a-half hour drive back home in the dark on a Wednesday night. You may or may not see me next month.


Yours Truly,

Jennifer