Bright Ideas

It seemed like a good idea yesterday to buy a couple cans of that spray-on hair dye they sell around Halloween Time. I got a can of pink and one of purple. When I got home yesterday, I found myself incapable of waiting one more minute before I coated my hair with the purple stuff which first resulted in a deep maroon mop. After one washing, I woke this morning to gentle fuchsia highlights.

I keep saying I’m going to be a punk rocker for next week’s annual Halloween party at my parents’ house. But I think I’ll probably just spray my hair pink and wear lots of gobby make-up and maybe wear an old prom dress. Be a freak. I don’t really have any punk clothing, and I’m unwilling to rip, tear or attach safety pins to any of the clothing I do have.

What else is new with me? Well, I decided it would be a good idea to become a REAL SMOKER about a month ago. Luckily, my dear husband pointed out to me how RIDICULOUS and NEEDLESS that was. And now I’m going through the process of QUITTING SMOKING. God, it’s hard even though I only really, truly smoked for about three or four weeks. I do not understand how people who have smoked for years and years ever quit. I have a whole new respect for them.

When you quit, it means quitting the whole process. You’re not just stopping breathing tar & nicotine into your lungs and bloodstream. You’re stopping grabbing your pack, stopping having that little skinny weightless stick in your hand, stopping flicking your ashes (my favorite part), stopping flicking your Bic. There’s a lot to it.

I should never have started inhaling. That’s what got me hooked. For years I would have a smoke every now and then while in the mid-to-upper stages of being drunk, but I never sucked the smoke down into my lungs. The smoke barely made it past my teeth before I was blowing it right back out. But once my poor pink lungs finally tested The Inhale, and they got over how much it burned, I was addicted. I was a dragon blowing it right through my nose. I found myself using things like TV commercials to calculate how long it had been since my last one to sort of keep a steady pace and refrain from outright chain-smoking.

It’s been almost a week since I quit, and it’s not so bad now. I should note that I will still smoke when I drink if I feel like it. But as far as the waking/working/non-social-nightlife hours go, I’ve pitched ‘em. (The one-month addict pats herself on her ridiculous back).

In other news, we went to the fair last weekend with the kids, and it was lots of fun. I never found the delicious steak-on-a-stick I was hoping for, but I did have a gyro and a sausage-on-a-stick. And some over-priced beer. Hannah and Sevin had a fun time riding things like flying school buses, rumbling dragons, swirling spaceships, and real-live ponies.

Always lots to see at the fair. One of the best parts of going to the fair is staring at the freaks. I saw a man with a 360º neck beard. His beard started on his adam’s apple and went (yes) 360º around his neck to meet back up at the adam’s apple and complete its circle. The fuzzy white hair stuck straight out. It was a veritable hair collar. We also briefly watched a contest between horses who were trying to pull the most cinder blocks stacked onto a trailer. Fair indeed.

That’s all I have for now, internet. Enjoy your sunny Saturday.