Vaguely Impenetrable Force

Dude phones my desk and says, "Hey, can I speak to the boss man?"

In a Lady Guinevere voice I reply, "Yes, this is she."

Dude is momentarily baffled because I’ve never joked around with him before and he ponders whether or not I am serious. Plus, he can’t remember my name. It’s probably on the tip of his tongue.

"Uhh, no, I meant Mike," Dude finally stutters.

I say nothing and let the office sounds around me sink into the receiver. Meanwhile, "Mike" is speaking in a very loud voice about six feet from my chair. Dude knows Mike is nearby, and says, "Is that him I hear talking? Could you get his attention, and tell him I’m on the line?" Dude is tired of waiting.

"No, I’m sorry, sir. Mike is out of the office. How may I be of service to you?" My voice has gone from Guinevere to Georgia twang.

With growing irritation, Dude sighs and says, "That sure does sound like Mike in the background there..."

"What you hear is a recording of Mike, sir," I say without hesitation. "I assure you, Mr. [Mike’s Last Name] is not here right now." My voice is now Upper West Side socialite.

"What? Why would you have a..... You know what? Never mind. Just have Mike – or his recording – give me a call back. This is [Dude’s Fake-Sounding Real Life Name]. He’s got the number."